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CHICAGO - illiNews -- Chicago: Hell on Earth, makers of The Resistance, an SPF 43 daily face moisturizer + 100% mineral sunscreen, are filing a civil suit against Mother Earth today, citing Mother Earth for allowing UV radiation to penetrate the ozone and attack humankind. The suit is in search of damages for assault, battery, emotional distress, and pending wrongful death. Hell on Earth is still building the criminal case.
"Mother Earth is a ruthless perpetrator hellbent on making us miserable every single day," said Hell on Earth Co-founder and Head of Operations and Joe Krouse. "99% of all organisms that lived on Earth are extinct. We are just pawns in her evil plan to eliminate all life."
The Resistance is the planet's best defense for the transgressions allowed against people of all race and creed. Ingredients include non-nano zinc, sustainably sourced squalane, and hyaluronic acid.
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"We're getting all up in that hot mess because she's got it out to kill us, always has," added Brad Harvey, Co-founder and Head of Brand. "Buckle up and join the fight, all y'all people of the planet."
In the filing, Hell on Earth asserts Mother Earth doesn't care if we burn alive. Hell on Earth exists to create premium, eco-friendly products designed to defend against the unforgiving conditions of this angry planet and a latchkey guardian who dares to announce her imminent domain over all the world's creatures.
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More about Hell on Earth: Hell on Earth was founded in Chicago, widely considered the center of Hell by most civilized people. The Resistance is their first product to supply the human race with artillery against Mother Earth, but there is more coming. For more information on how to join the fight, visit https://hellon.earth/.
"Mother Earth is a ruthless perpetrator hellbent on making us miserable every single day," said Hell on Earth Co-founder and Head of Operations and Joe Krouse. "99% of all organisms that lived on Earth are extinct. We are just pawns in her evil plan to eliminate all life."
The Resistance is the planet's best defense for the transgressions allowed against people of all race and creed. Ingredients include non-nano zinc, sustainably sourced squalane, and hyaluronic acid.
More on illi News
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"We're getting all up in that hot mess because she's got it out to kill us, always has," added Brad Harvey, Co-founder and Head of Brand. "Buckle up and join the fight, all y'all people of the planet."
In the filing, Hell on Earth asserts Mother Earth doesn't care if we burn alive. Hell on Earth exists to create premium, eco-friendly products designed to defend against the unforgiving conditions of this angry planet and a latchkey guardian who dares to announce her imminent domain over all the world's creatures.
###
More about Hell on Earth: Hell on Earth was founded in Chicago, widely considered the center of Hell by most civilized people. The Resistance is their first product to supply the human race with artillery against Mother Earth, but there is more coming. For more information on how to join the fight, visit https://hellon.earth/.
Source: Hell on Earth
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